Unless my numerous sources are incorrect then there's only seven new releases this week! So to celebrate my low work load I'm going to treat you all with videos for every song I post about, rather than just the ones I choose as 2BAD & 2BEARABLE
And because I'm such a fleasant pellow, I'm going to keep doing this from now on with every weekly review I manage to squeeze out. Now now, there's no need for applause, it's just the kind of person I am. It's in my nature to be that nice.
Now that BS is out of the way and the zuzminastrator has decreed it just that I post videos for every song from now on, let's get on with the show!
Katie Melua - I Will Be There
Out of all the songs that Katie Melua has sung I find Closest Thing To Crazy still the best of a bland but pretty bunch, something that personifies Melua perfectly. Very pretty but bland.
I don't find this a pretty song though. Instead of a seeing someone from afar and thinking they're pretty, this song is more seeing people on a red carpet event on TV. It's more glamorous than pretty and as such I feel distant from it. This song was written to be a speciality performance to appease the Royal Family at one of their boring garden parties, and it shows.
I believed every word of Melua sings in Closest Thing To Crazy, it's such a relatable song for anyone of any gender. This is a song that was composed for polite applause at the end and nothing else.
Passenger - Holes
I get irritated by Kate Nash's voice. I can understand how people can think how deep her songs can be and how relatable and quirky her lyrics are but I'm sorry; I just don't like her style of singing because it sounds so fake. It sounds so put on and over the top to the point of parody, and it's not funny enough to be that.
The reason for this little introductory rant is the individual known as Passenger, especially with this song, reminds of a male Kate Nash. The vocals are so thickly accented that it gets quite distracting. The message of the song is nice but I can't help but find it lacking in sincerity, mainly because if you're putting on a silly voice to try and be more down to earth and relatable in the cheapest possible way then why should I believe anything you have to say? I've listened to interviews, you don't talk like that, neither do you Miss Nash. You are trying to be something your not to be more popular to disguise what you really are; a couple of rich kids who are playing poor in a sad attempt to make themselves more likable to the masses. I like to think if the music is good, rich or poor, people will buy it. If the music is bad, they won't and people like me will happily rant about it. Stop trying to cheat the more gullible people out there, it's 'bang out of order'
Which is probably going to be a title of your next song, seeing as you're down with our lingo ol' chap
Avicii - You Make Me
The last Avicii song I reviewed I almost looked favourably upon, but the inkling I had was that Wake Me Up should have been a whole different song and got released without a dance track tied to it in about as effective a way as tying 2 people together to run the 100 meters. Yes they have the same goal, but if one is just slightly better proportioned it's all going to end a pile of limbs going nowhere fast.
I really like the intro and there's nice beat going on here, at times has an almost industrial sound but after the first chorus kicks in the interesting sound it had quickly fades into a nail on chalk board dance riff with a repetitively crap contralto vocal to match. A real shame, it was sounding so promising
So which festering sounds have I in my most opinionated and biased way decided to name as 2 WORST OF THE WEEK?
Seek and ye shall find... just under this line.
Not far really
Jessie J - It's My Party
Oh Jessie... I could say I want to like you but that would be lying. I could say I respect you but that would also be lying. I can't even say that at least you've got a good voice because that too would also be lying in my honest opinion. Lets just go with I think you could be all these things if you just calmed down slightly and not be so annoying. You have a voice and can hold a tune but it's nowhere near as good as you think it is. Humility goes a long way
What about the song though? I think Jessie J's been listening to a lot of Pink, specifically one song and I'm pretty sure that other people will be able to hear it and not just me. Actually if Pink re-recorded this one song, after being strapped to an aqualung of helium, it would sound pretty damn close (I sense a mash-up coming)
I can't warm to it; the music is brash and unoriginal, the lyrics are boring and unimaginative and I find the vocals as pleasing to the ear as the feeling of 2 frozen cauliflowers cymbaling my head together. But you know something, people will like it. I don't know why but they will. I predict it will reach number 1 and I predict I may decide to start my radio hibernation early if it does.
Jason Derulo ft 2 Chainz - Talk Dirty
With a singing voice that sounds like a underpaid Shaggy impersonator with a vice clamped on his testes, a rapper whose verse is done with no real dynamism, urgency or even effort and a strident trumpet solo at the end of each chorus so strident that makes my hair stand on end like a shell-shocked meercat; I am clearly very much in awe of this song.
In awe that the thing was given the green light rather than had it's blue touch paper lit for it to combust into the lost realm of stupid concepts.
Jason Derulo may the be the most absent minded so-called music celebrity that's ever lived; not only for the dull and uninspired dross he rolls out with any anyone he suckers into making a record with but also that he can't seem to go 1 minute without his own song reminded him what his name is. I however I'm quite familiar with your name Jason and are not required to hear it anymore than I have to.
You also seem to be under the impression that your name is cool but personally I think it sounds like the name of a bedding textiles company. Dream on Derulo could be it's slogan.
While I'm at it, 2 Chainz is more Missin Link.
Oh yeah, listen to Sean Paul's Get Busy and see if you notice something familiar
The idea of anyone taking inspiration from Sean Paul is as absurd as Steven Fry taking inspiration from Katie Price. You do yourself no favours with this logic Jason.
Dream on Derulo indeed
And now on to the 2 MOST BEARABLE SONGS OF THE WEEK (according to me)
Elton John - Home Again
Last I heard from Elton John he'd been reverse aged by 2 willowy dance orientated Australians and they were using his youthful pipes to make one of biggest selling albums of last year (Elton John vs Pnau 'Good Morning To The Night) Good album too, really opened up a lot people to Elton's more obscure back catalogue of great songs (personally from there I recommend Philidelphia Freedom and My High Flying Bird, both are well worth a listen if you haven't heard them already)
Now the old Elton has re-reversed the aging process and is back again as a swinging 66 year old with a brand new album, to show us he can still Crocodile Rock with the best of them and still have enough faculties to remember why they did indeed call it the blues. Even if it is just a guess.
First single on this album is Home Again which I'll admit is fairly good but there's a lack of character to the song. I find it nice to listen to but it doesn't hit me in an emotional way, and this is exactly what this song is meant to do. I still remember the first time I heard I Want Love on the radio, one listen was all it took and that pleading melody has stuck in my mind ever since. This song pales in comparison and seems pretty paint by numbers.
You may also notice it sounds a little familiar somehow, do not worry, you are not the first to noticed (see. I Can't Make You Love Me) Personally, although similar, I don't think it's enough to spoil what is in essence a nice song but lacks a way of defining itself in a sea of great hits from the same artist.
Nine Inch Nails - A Copy Of A
I can't believe I just typed that. Nine Inch Nails?! What forgotten 90's alt metal group will be next week? Tool? System of A Down? Extreme?!!
Actually this isn't that much of a shock because NIN have been churning out some fairly pop tracks over the last 10 years, especially with the album With Teeth, where both single releases got into the top 20 and one of them as far as number 7. Yeah, number 7. That is frankly astonishing but the track The Hand That Feeds itself is very pop as far NIN can get, personally I preferred the other single Only. It felt a more Trent Renzorish in tone and bitterness.
What do I think of the new song? Well, it's ok but I can't see it breaking the top 40. I keep thinking the backing music is going to break into the Equaliser theme which would be all kinds of awesome but saying that when the music changes around 1:25 mark it does come into it's own and the lyrics are eerily poignant. Enough to make one of my 2BEARABLE, which means that it languish somewhere between complete chart obscurity and the next Chico release