Thursday, 21 November 2013


I was hoping to post this tomorrow but seeing as it's likely I'm not going to be home till Saturday morning it's probably best to post this now. My apologies for how late this will be. Very interesting, much more so on closer inspection. Nothing stands out as a sure fire number one but then I certainly didn't guess that Animals song would hit the top. I did listen to it and dismissed it as quicker than most after 3 listens. A day later I still can't remember how it goes and have no desire to refresh my memory on the matter.

One thing I am going to say is, rather randomly, Black Sabbath should stop making new albums. I've heard most of the songs now and it's just depressing. I really don't want to be too down on these guys, I think it's incredible that they are still performing let along releasing new albums but I have to be honest. This sounds as old as they are. It's very classic rock and sounds like a hidden track from an album in the late 70's. They haven't moved with the times and as such the end product is as stale as Ozzy's speaking voice.

So other than the BAD and BEARABLE, here are some notable mentions for a combination of reasons.

Boyzone - Love Will Save The Day

It would seem that this once madly loved vocal Irish quartet are going down the Take That route of reforming and coming back with a more mature approach to their music but still regaining the charm that kept them posted on teenage bedroom walls for over a decade. Now those walls are looking a little messier due to cigarette stains and mortgaged house baptism of rising damp, so the question is, will their. Well, this isn't Patience but nor is it Headlines (Friendship Never Ends). It's a decent song and Ronan Keating has never sounded better. It's a very Boyzone sounding song however, they've not been as brave as Take That, who's Beautiful World album was about as unexpected and well received  as Metallica's S&M (who'd have thought orchestra and metal would meld so deliciously) so in reality so far they're playing it pretty safe. Overall though I do kind of like it, my only really niggle is how stupid the lalalalalalovvee part sounds, harking back to Puddle of Mudd 'She Beeping Hates Me territory, but without the irony. It's almost like Keating was dared to screw up the chorus on purpose and see if anyone said anything. Guess they didn't.


Dawes - Most People

I find this song peculiar, it's nicely put together but the overall sound is somewhat lacking in creativity, despite a nice little guitar riff trying desperately to break out of the score and some very interesting lyrics about being too blindsided by personal hang ups and personal issues to not see the big picture. In which we are all in the same boat and are rapidly decided how to dally up the life belts. It's the best written song lyrically this week, shame the music doesn't quite do it the justice it deserves, but perhaps it doesn't need it right now.

Elton John - Voyeur

There just aren't enough songs out there about peeping toms. Such a rich, barely touched tapestry of emotion, reluctance and left over bodily fluids to create such stirring compositions. I've read these lyrics back to front and upside down and there cannot be any doubt that this song is, without a trace of irony, about an actual voyeur. In every sense of the only definition of the word
I can't help but like Elton John and this song while certainly not his best, does have it's merits. I just can't get my head around the subject matter. It's like Celine Dione bringing out a song about making obscene phone calls.

JLS - Billion Lights

Maybe I'm behind the times but didn't they announce their separation around 2 years ago? What's the point of even releasing this single? what happens if it does really well? Will they have to hold a press conference and rather sheepishly announce their reunion after never really being apart? Judging by their styling they all live in each others wardrobes anyway. Replace the somewhat feminine sounding vocals and this is pretty much a Girls Aloud song, when Girls Aloud were not horrific. At times it even sounds like 'Something Kind of Oooooh Ooooooh'. So when I listen to this song I imagine it being sung by a group of hot girls in provocative clothing. What doesn't help however is JLS's tendency to wear low cut tops, that gets kind of confusing, especially when they have cleavage.

At least they'll be gone soon, hopefully

Lily Allen - Hard Out Here

It's nice that after bashing Allen last week she can redeem herself almost immediately with her brand new single that is not a cover. But this just re-enforces the very reasons why the Keane cover is a far cry from the quality that Allen can deliver. Here she is in her scathing, self-effacing self. At least in the verses.

Listen up Allen, and listen close: You have a good a voice, you do not need Auto tune. It sounds weird on your already (Deckard is gonna get you... to-night) replicant sounding voice. Don't do it again, you're better than this. So far only Bruno Mars has managed to make autotune sound bearable, and that was just one song, and probably a fluke. 

Matt Fishel - Oh Santa!

Oh bravo. More Christmas humour of the Me First Gimme Gimme variety please. They style reminds of a mix of Me First and The Feeling (when they were good) Whoever this Fishel guy is he's just selling this song so well that I actually believe he could be impregnated by Santa, and would like it. Bravo again good sir.

My pick for 2 BAD this week may surprise some and will most certainly infuriate at least one person
Here they are....

Bastille - Of The Night

Sorry Zuz, I really don't like this. It's just a poorly done mash up of Rhythm is a Dancer and Rhythm of the Night. Both old school favourites and this version just sounds diluted in the vain attempt at trying to sound enigmatic. I just think it sounds crap. Why would such a distinctive band like Bastille waste a one of their single releases with a cover when they write infinitely better music themselves. I'm not even a huge fan of them either. That's how much I don't like this version. This version is just BAD

Gary Barlow - Let Me Go

If I hadn't have heard 'Wake Me Up' by Avicci I think I would like this song more than I do. I quite like Barlow as both a singer and songwriter, the man is definitely talented and as far as I'm aware has never been one to jump on the bandwagon in favour of following his own style. Until now it seems.

I get what he was going for with the country-esque, semi gospel sound but it's ridiculously bad timing and it comes across as someone a bit too inspired by something they recently heard. It's like 'Complicated' by Avril Lavigne and 'El Salvador' by Athlete coming out within 4 months of each other. They are not connected at all but you listen to them both you can't help but feel a lawsuit in the making, even if it was complete coincidence. I feel the same way about this song. Wake Me Up is so much better anyway. Save it for the judge Barlow, I find you guilty of being BAD because I expected much better.

And my 2 BEARABLE of the week are...

Foy Vance - Closed Hand, Full Of Friends

With a piano intro that sounds like it could be an unplugged version of I Got A Feeling by Black Eyed Peas and a moustache borrowed from Bill The Butcher, we have an energetic and powerful song with one hell of a great vocal. This is of an out there comparison but think the music style of Patrick Wolf and the voice of John Foggarty from CCWR. I do hate these abrupt endings though, it really did sound like they were building to another foot stomping chorus and it just stops. I know it had just reached the 4 min mark but still, one more wouldn't have hurt

Luminites - Do Something
Ok, here's where it gets serious. I shouldn't like this, I should despise it with every fibre of my being and then use them weave their own death shroud. But I can't... I like it. Sorry. Consider this my first Guilty Pleasure Bearable.

To add salt to the embarrassing itchy crack rash, they're a another bunch of losers too, this time of the Britain's Got Talent persuasion, but heaven help me and help it really must, but I like this. Any song that's making me bop to the music whilst I'm typing gets my thumbs up, at least when I finish the paragraph, otherwiseitwouldenduplookinglikethis.

This is the kind of pop music that I would secretly admire as a guilty pleasure. In the same vain as some very early Atomic Kitten, when Kerry Katona wasn't fat and skint because she should followed her own advice and gone to Iceland instead of Waitrose. It's just so incredibly upbeat and happy sounding with some truly remarkable back ground vocals (listen out for the guy belting out 'why don't you just do iiiittt!! he's nailing that note beautifully)

I'm going to hide now.

Thanks for reading, feel free to mock,  See you for 50 Shades, apparently they'll be having sex soon but it's all very hush hush

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