Thursday, 7 November 2013

New Time New Day NewBAD&NewBEARABLE

Hello hello and welcome welcome welcome welcome.

After todays post there's going to be some changes to my 2B2B formula:

Mainly I will post about a total of 7 songs:

2 BAD, 2 BEARABLE of mainstream/pop and 3 noteworthy mentions from any genre. I'm listening to every single song that comes out and try as I might I cannot write about them all. So, like all relationships that have any hope of lasting after the honeymoon period is well and truly over and your farting in bed and using the toilet at the same time, I'm going to compromise.

This week however, just your usual fare of a number mainstream contenders and the aforementioned 2BAD and 2BEARABLE of the week. As usual.

Hope you enjoy


David Guetta FT Mikky Ekko - One Voice

With a vocal that sounds like he's drowning and lack of any real melody or even personality, this song does not agree with me at all. If Avicii's 'Wake Me Up' or even Guetta's own 'Titanium' are a example of what good mainstream dance music can sound like, this is on the other end of the laserlight.

Everything feels very suffocating and the drowning voice certainly doesn't help matters. It's definitely not catchy, there's a real lack of dynamics to the music. Most of time you just hear a low rumble that sounds like it could be the beginning of Airwolf. But it's not, that would be far too awesome

Diane Birch - All The Love You Got

I've never heard of this girl and to be honest this song doesn't want me to hear any more of her music (if there is any) The voice is nice but whether it's the actual backing track or her singing it sounds like she's struggling with a melody that simply isn't there. A vocal equivalent of guitar jam session, just more pretentious

 Gabz - Lie There

It's hard to get excited about a quite obviously dance orientated song telling you to just lie there.

'Yeah! We're living it up good! We're tearing this place down! Sleeping Log party in the HOUSEEE!!!'

 It kind of reminds me of Eminem telling you to go 'berzerk' all night long by growing your beard out.

Aside from the slightly contrasting styles this isn't a great song either way. It's a bit bland, has no real presence and as such is one of those that will pass you right by if you ever catch it on the radio. Yes I know she's only 14 but the music industry is cruel cruel world and sometimes a little wake up call is needed. She won't be 14 forever, she's called Gabz; not Petra flocking flying Pan. Youth will only get you so far with crap songs. Remember Lolly? Nope? Exactly.

Indiana - Mess Around

How can a song called 'Mess Around' be so unenergetic? I kept wishing she would mess something around just to sound like she's doing something . The different styles trying to combine here are very jarring: We have Del Ray like soul, synth ambience, electronica beats, Dubstep (I think, I'm no expert though) and what seems like a half hearted attempt at Tori Amos bat shit zaniness. Flash their rings together and by their power combined out pops a girl who looks like Le Roux's less androgynous and slighter hotter cousin wearing in shiny chicken suit. Ok...

The song is fine I guess but it falls under the same problem a lot (and I mean A LOT) of these songs have in that there's nothing to grab your attention to the music itself (which probably explains why songs like this usually have a really arty video to hide the fact that song is about as memorable as episode of Country File. Yes it's sung nice, yes it has an ok beat, yes a lot of people like this new age chill out, watch the clouds go by while you see which one looks most like a dinosaur style of music. For it to work for me though, it has to at least say something worth while saying. Asking your other if you think you should get jiggy with others is hardly ground breaking.   

Jahmene Douglas - Forever Young

Jahmene Douglas doing a cover of a Bob Dylan song is about as daft as Mariah Carey singing Iron Maiden. Let me explain. Like Mrs Carey, this guy's vocal range is astonishing but he only sounds interesting when he's hitting the limits of his voice. His lower register is boring, he can hit those notes in his sleep and judging by the way he sings down there he probably is. Give Douglas a woman's song and make him sing it in the same key however and that is where this guy shines. You don't believe me? Listen to his first ever audition with 'At Last or his version of 'Titanium'. Normally I hate warbling divas but the fact it's a dude doing this is freaking astonishing. Using a Louis Walsh saying 'he like little transsexual Aretha Franklin' This gospel rendition of a Dylan classic will not get him noticed, again. He needs something bigger, something more ... feminine. He should totally do a cover of R E S P E C T

Katy B - 5AM

Katy B is one of those artists who I've heard the name of rather than any of their actual music.  One of those B list singers who's name does get any proper recognition, seeming to go the Jessie J route in terms of making her title unique. Problem she has is that the market is swarming with Katys or Kates that just having a single letter as a suffix just isn't going to cut it. I actually thought she was a dj to be honest.

This song isn't great but I am amazed she hasn't acquired more popularity. Not only is she drop dead, redhead bombshell, cartoon wolf eyes popping out of sockets tongue unfurled like a red carpet, gorgeous, she's also got much nicer voice than the likes of Perry, Jessie, Nash. The song isn't great though, it's very simple in it's execution and like most dance pop tracks it lacks a memorable signature that would have it buzzing in your head for the next 3 days.

 Pet Shop Boys FT Example - Thursday

Maybe it's just my laptop but one of things I hate about this new track is that at times Neil Tennant's diction is so bad in the verses that he is indecipherable, as well as been seemingly drowned out by his own music. This is unacceptable. One of Tennants best vocal attributes as how clear and crisp his voice was and how each syllable of every cynical and thought provoking lyric could be heard in it's entirety. Now it just sounds like he's mumbling some irrelevant nonsense before saying that it's not over over that you should stay for the weekend. Err... unless I know exactly what you're conspiring to yourself I'm not staying with you any where. Certainly not if Example is going to be there. 

Taylor Swift FT Gary Lightbody - The Last Time

I reminded of a tap. A faulty tap. A tap that constantly secretes water at varying, infrequent intervals and never seems to rest, going all through the night and not even a washer can halt it's tepid determination. What I'm trying to say is this song is very very drippy. It has no real substance and no real emotion either.

In ways it sounds a lot like a Keane song and in stranger ways I believe it would sound much better with Tom Chaplin bellowing out the notes rather than Swift and Lightbody (sounds like a electronics store). He would at least bring a sense of feeling to the music even if it is peppered with middle class whining.

Tegan And Sara - Goodbye, Goodbye

Who the hell are these two and why do I get the feeling that I wouldn't want to stay at a hotel run by the one with a slightly more boyish haircut? It does sound like a very 90's throwback which in some aspects is quite a good and a welcome change but chorus hook is memorable due to repetition of the words rather than the melody staying with you. Their voice are ok, if a touch creepy but I can't see this appealing to a wide market. They'll probably be happy finding themselves a nice niche though. Celebrate how lucky they were to get a recording contract in the first place perhaps.

And now the first BAD song of the week is...

The Killers - Shot At The Night

I've missed The Killers, I miss them for what they were; unabashed declarations synth throwback electro pop with charmingly confusing lyrics, immensely catchy keyboard riffs and just a feeling of not giving a shit. The fact they're all Mormons from Las Vegas just made it 10 times more endearing.

I'll tell you something now, I still miss The Killers because they seemed to have been replaced by a band who are taking life just a little bit too seriously and are trying to be something their not. From this new song alone it seems they are trying to be The Cure. And failing. The once mighty have fallen on some seriously hard times. The lack of effort from a what I know is a very good band is unforgivable in my opinion. Hence the reason it's a BAD song.

Not quite as bad as this one though....

Britney 'Bitch' Spears - Work Bitch

I get what she's trying to do, I really do. She's giving a huge shout out to all her fellow sistas to do it for themselves, that if you want something you're not going to trip over it on your way to the fridge. Unless you want a small dog, that you already have. I think it's a good message, too many people and celebritiy wannabes feel far too self entitled and this song does dare to go against the grain of modern perception and sloth like lifestyle. This is a good thing. This song has good points.... in theory

There are few tiny problems with this song however. On of it's biggest problems is that it is simply awful. How you say? Let me count some of the ways

1. Hit Me Baby Britney is no longer with us. Instead we have a Lady Gaga in-waiting who's voice has to be autotuned  to such extent you could replace her in the recording booth with Bane from The Dark Knight Rises and no one would be any the wiser.

2. You want a hit song. Fine. You want an edgy song? Sure. You want know how to make your song sound edgy? Err... come up with thought provoking ideas that reveal that no matter how good you look on the outside, everyone has a darker side to their personality? Nope, you stick a cuss word in the title. Bitch

3. Which also means that by having said word in title you create cheap marketing for your shitty song and causes controversy that the DJ's can't even say the name without a Family Fortunes esque buzzer going off if they try. I'm surprised she didn't hash-tag the damn thing

4. This song is the worst song of this year. You better Deal with it. Bitch.

Deep breath, the bad have gone, bring on the BEARABLE

Frank Turner - Oh, Brother

With a sound that seems to mix Deacon Blue with the Arctic Monkeys, retro synth, sticky in head piano riffs and name so everyman it's like he could have stepped out of The Rover's Return, this is a pretty decent song with very nice production and styling.
This guy had me hooked until the song abruptly cut off at the end and he started talking to someone over the sound of radio in serious need of a good hard tuning. Oh well, can't win them all. Still he's done more than enough to be my first BEARABLE

 Which leaves...

Little Mix - Move
(yes, you read that correctly and no I didn't get the bad and bearable mixed up either) 

With exception of James Arthur it's very unusual for an act born out a talent show to take risks. This song may not be great but this is as big of a risk as humanly possible for a vocal group. In fact, they are so exposed in these 3 mins 44 seconds, you can see just how big their balls are. The majority of this song is pretty much acapella; it's just these girls singing the lyrics (which are pretty terrible it has to be said) going Mmmmm and Hmmmm a lot, a demi chorus backing track of ascending/descending scales which sounds like it's been ripped from opening titles of The South Bank Show* and a percussionist who seems to be more comfortable hitting pieces of random camping equipment than actual drums.

Whether you like this song or not you can't deny that this isn't brave and that alone gives it my BEARABLE thumbs up. Will it be it a successful display of courage though? I'm not sure, I think a lot of people will find it very sparce and awkward to dance to. Hell they seem to have trouble dancing to it in the video seeing as there's no freaking music. 

(ignore the twiddly bit at the start)

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